Friday, April 28, 2017

GloPoWriMo 42817 In Spring, A Breeze




In Spring, A Breeze

Version 1

In spring, a breeze
Upon my face,
A string of hair
Now displaced,
I turn my head
The wind to blow
The wisp of hair
Behind me now,
And as I turn
My eye does see
The breeze flows on
To petals it turns,
A bee it disturbs-
This wave of air
In spring, a breeze.




In Spring, A Breeze

Version 2: Skeltonic, Dipodic, Tumbling Verse

In spring, a breeze
Does toss and tease,
My hair it frees
And flaps with ease
Into my eyes-
My hand it flies
To free my eyes
From hair untied;
And then I see
That petals three
Have slapped a bee
Who's feeding free
Now that poor fellow
On flower yellow
Must exit and tower
Over space now ceased
By spring, a breeze.

GloPoWriMo 42817 Versions 1 and 2 Sheri Edwards
Flickr Version 1
Flickr Version 2


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

2 comments:

  1. I like the first one better ... it has a more natural flow, Sheri.
    Kevin

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree Kevin. I wrote the second one to follow the prompt because I forgot to rhyme the skeltonic pattern in the first one, which made it more forced.

    ReplyDelete

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